Oldie Butta Goodie Bar/Chew On This! Aaliyah sings about a Choosey Lover – Where dey at?

After leaving Jive Records in 1996, Aaliyah teamed up with producers Timbaland and Missy Elliot to produce her next album, One in a Million. For that album, Aaliyah recorded a remake of the Isley Brothers’ 1983 hit, Choosey Lover (track 6 on the album).

Here are some lyrics:

Choosey Lover, Boy I’m So Proud Of Ya.
I’m So Glad You Chose Me, Baby.
And I’ll Make You So Happy.

Thought I Had A Love, But I Was Kidding Myself, Baby.
By The Time I Learned The Truth About It,
He Was Sleeping With Someone Else.
But Not You, Baby.


Cause You’re givin Me…..givin Me Security, Baby
And You Proven What You Said…(Ohh)
Never Worried About You Baby, Jumpin In And Out Of Bed.
Ohhhh, But Not My Baby.

I used to bump this song all the time, but really began to fully understand the real meaning of the lyrics during the past 2 or 3 years.  According to this song (and my own definitions) a Choosey Lover is someone who simply is a selective or picky person who takes much thought and effort into choosing a mate. They weigh the benefits and negatives aspects of a person, whether it be their past (it matters), their ambitions in life, their morals (very important in my opinion) or the way they treat people in general.

I find with a lot f my friends or acquaintances – men and women, happen to wave or ignore the pursuance of these admirable qualities in a mate and offer various excuses for doing so. These include: ‘hey its hard to find a man/woman out here!’;  or, ‘hey, beggers can’t be choosers!’; or my favorite, ‘I don’t want to die alone!’

To counter these arguments I would argue that when you take care in the kinds of people you choose to bring into your life, you can save yourself from extra drama being brought into your life. And yes, you do have to take a chance, a leap of faith if you will, when choosing to enter into a relationship with someone, I think taking more care into the actual choosing of your mate will determine the level of drama, happiness and heartbreak you will endure as a result of the union.

Myself? I’m all about the Choosey Lover! I see you! You are bougie as you wanna be; a kind person at heart, but you will not put up with your cousin Rasheeda and her three bad-ass sons and her two whutless baby daddies. You respect a woman as much as you respect your mother, but this chick in the bra and mini-skirt who just downed three shots of patron and is wobbling her way towards you will not do it for you tonight. You think this guy is definitely sexy and BF material (because of his sexiness), but you cannot get past his eyes trailing every ass that walks into the room, so you pass.

Call me crazy, but if you are a Choosey Lover, you get my vote and my respect. Its lonely at the top, but who ever said sanity was easy right?


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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’m definetly feeling this post!
    Its cool to admire a choosy lover but shouldn’t we all aspire to be choosy lovers. I’d rather be alone than have to deal with the bottom of the barrell. Women especially need to raise the bar a little higher…we got hearts and emotions at stake.

    • I agree with you 100% Goddess! I’m glad you liked the post, I actually elaborate on this topic tomorrow for Threewaystotakeit.com so make sure you check it out!

  2. […] What is A Choosey Lover? […]

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